House Tearmainn

Wow, it’s dusty around here. I suppose one thing you can’t delegate to your slave in times of crisis is your masterly blog. On the other hand, it’s nice to know that I’m not letting anyone down by not posting.It has been a busy, very busy, few months. Work has been beyond hectic, kids and school are all-consuming at the best of times, and these times are not the best in many ways. One way in which these times are best is pais. Though she has had an ever increasing pile of schoolwork, she has been rock solid as a slave.

The need to discipline her has always been laughably rare. These past few months have been no exception. Her errors, when they have happened, have been exceedingly minor. Her need to please has only grown, and please she has. I have used her at least once every day we have been physically in the same place for all of the 285 days that she has been mine. Probably well before that, too.

What other news is there? I took her to get pierced a week ago Monday. This one was a triangle and I have been very pleased with the results. The woman who pierced her was lovely, and kind enough to laugh at my jokes through the process. I should have bought her a truffle when I bought pais her treat. In truth I could have given her pais’ as she was probably too high on endorphins to even taste it.

So far the pain has been manageable, and just the threat of touching it makes her so deliciously afraid. The recommended antibiotic for these things is no longer being sold to the general public, it seems, so I have been allowing her salt baths twice a day, and things are healing right on schedule. I look forward to tying things to that hardware, a good heal is worth the wait.

Probably the biggest issue I have faced as a master since the last, and first, post (not counting the many drafts I have saved around here, yeesh) was one of habit. My previous long-term relationships tended to be with people who were… emotionally unpredictable. By necessity relationships with people of this nature force a reactive mental stance. It is not possible to control or even predict someone who is bi-polar, for instance, so instead you must change to adapt to the current situation.

A few weeks ago pais was undergoing a series of difficulties, which seemed to be growing less specific and more frequent. This trend closely resembled the end of my last relationship and I began to fear that somehow I had begun to lose my hold on her slavery. In fact, that was the case.

I have given pais a fair amount of room to pursue her studies, and allowed her a lot of leeway in setting her own schedule and habits for schoolwork. In the process I began to think of her as “off limits” during certain times. This, combined with other stressful factors at the time, had left me feeling as if my life was out of control. My response was to fall back into the old habit of reacting instead of acting. Make no mistake… slaves pick up on that in a heartbeat.

Many of the issues that pais was having were symptomatic of that root problem. She could sense that something wasn’t right, she was feeling less owned, and that feeling caused a variety of panic reactions in her. Once I caught on to what was happening in my internal processes it was actually very easy to turn it around. Things have settled back into the usual peaceful bliss that I seek, and I believe that pais is more enslaved than ever.

Knowing that I am in control is so incredibly important to both of us. Allowing that knowledge to erode (even for such seemingly noble reason as to support her schooling) can only lead to strife and misery. Lesson learned.