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Suffering

by on Nov.22, 2011, under Uncategorized

A lot of folks i know in the M/s world have some Buddhist flavor of spirituality. A brief synopsis of my understanding of the Buddhist view of suffering boils down to something like this: suffering is the result of wanting what you cannot have (your neighbor’s ass, your neighbor’s wife, a million dollars, the elixer of immortality . . .) If you can accept that all of these pleasures of life are temporary, and thus detach yourself from your desire for them, you will avoid suffering.

This may go to show how far i am from attaining enlightenment, or maybe it has more to do with my masochistic tendencies, but that idea of suffering, for me, does not resonate. It does not resonate at all.

My mindset for many years has been more along the lines of no pain, no gain. How do babies learn to roll over? They get uncomfortable or bored. They want a change of position. They want a toy. Sometimes they cry. They want somebody to come along and flip them over. If you leave them on their bellies, they’ll push themselves up. They’ll strive. They’ll strain. And then–whoop! They’re on their backs.

For me, if something is worth attaining, it is worth suffering for. And if it doesn’t cause suffering in the attainment, it makes me question whether it was worth attaining in the first place. That is down near the deep foundations of my slavery. To me, the beauty in life is in the struggle, from the dandelion forcing its way through the crack in the sidewalk, to the polar bear hunting over miles of ice to feed its young. Without the struggle, there’s no meaning, no fulfilment. It’s like a baseball game with one team up by how-ever-many runs–you might as well just stop. What’s the point? It’s just too easy. Nobody’s learning anything.

I agree with the Buddhist folks that sweating the small stuff isn’t worth it, but whose definition of small stuff? Designer labels or fancy gadget may not interest me, but who am i to judge those folks who do think those kinds of things are worth striving for? (Well, ok, those kinds of goods may have impacts on the environment or global economy in ways that do eventually effect me, so maybe i do have some right to an opinion. Ignoring that, though, my point stands.)

This is why, when Master tried to teach me how to meditate, i imploded. A practice that is supposed to help you achieve a state that cannot be reached through the struggle? To me, to stop suffering is to stop fully participating in life.

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Hello world!

by on Sep.12, 2011, under Uncategorized

This is only my second post on this blog, and actually it’s really the first because the other one was taken from another context.

My philosophy is that i’m never finished learning and improving, and it’s hard for me to understand that my thoughts about where i’m at may be helpful to others when i see how far i still have to go.  And yet . . . when i first started out, i learned the most from some folks who weren’t any further along in things than i am now.  And i am developing a new friendship with somebody who is doing a pretty good job of convincing me that even if my wisdom isn’t all that, some of the tips and tricks Master & i have worked out over the years can be helpful for others. For instance, i shared with her a technique we use to help Master not feel nagged or pressured when i make suggestions. Master tends to be more in the “now” and have a broader sense of everything that’s going on in the moment, while i tend to be more future-oriented and keeping track of all the things that need to get done over the next few days. That means that sometimes i will lay out a plan of attack along the lines of “we need to do this, then this, then this,” and i can definitely be going full steam ahead without really, er, consulting with Him. I’m not usually insistent on “my way” or even think of it as “my way.” I just feel like it’s the path that’s the most logical and therefore almost inevitable. Of course He’ll want to do it the most efficient way that gets everything done!  Right?

Well, not so much. So i started labeling my plans as either “suggestions,” (i think this is the best method to move forward) or “ideas,” (we could do it this way; there may be a better way.) Right up front, “Master, i have a suggestion,” or “Master, i have an idea.”  We did this pretty consistently for a while, and it became easier for me to see that often His plans, while different from mine, can be just as efficient!  Shocking, i know.

So i am going to try to write on some kind of semi-regular basis for the next little while and see how it goes.  I am a little apprehensive that i won’t be able to keep it up for long because i hate to put stuff out there unless i’m positive it’s correct . . . and just as there’s no one true way in M/s in general, we spend a lot of time figuring out that even what works for us for one period of time needs to evolve and change for our dynamic to stay strong over time.  So this will be, like Master’s, a record of my own mistakes as we go as well!

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Protected: Why M/s Relationships Fail

by on Sep.04, 2009, under Uncategorized

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Protected: Identity and Archetype

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Protected: Fueled by Satan. Or exhaustion.

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Protected: Cuz You Gotta Have Faith

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Protected: Values

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Protected: Random Thoughts

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Protected: Initial thoughts on MsC 2008 (or The Warm-Up)

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Protected: Huh. Upgrades.

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