House Tearmainn

Tricky day today. I could write a lot on it, but I’m not sure the details are relevant here. The lessons are, though, and foremost among them is this: If one of my girls makes a mistake it is, in all likelihood, not about me. I’m not sure why it is one of those lessons that takes so long and so much head bashing to learn, but it is. Well, so be it, I will continue to try and learn it.

The complimentary part of this lesson is that if it’s not about me, my reaction should be proportionate to the mistake. It doesn’t have be, I am within my rights to be a prick, but that’s not the kind of dominant I want to be. What kind of dominant do I want to be, then? Sounds like the subject of another post. I wonder if the “to write” pile is currently longer than the “written” one. Seems likely.

Oof. Rough day today. A theme I’ve been reading from my M/s friends lately, even the most experienced ones, is one of learning the same lesson over and over. That was today on a lot of levels.

Today’s (re-re-)re-lessons:

• After deciding that you have not been exerting enough control, but *before* turning up the knob from 2 to 7 it’s good to talk to the slave a bit.
• Control is not the opposite of love.
• It is possible to remain calm in the face of anger without completely disconnecting, I know it is.
• Trying to process while getting everyone ready to leave in the morning rarely helps and often hurts.
• No matter how much of my baggage I work through, there is always more. Plus some dipshit keeps putting the old ones back where they were when l wasn’t looking. Inconsiderate, that.

For all that, any day that starts out that rough and is mostly back on keel before dinner can’t be all that bad. It can be rough sometimes to have all of the responsibility for these issues, but with it comes the power necessary to make them right.