House Tearmainn

… and I’m twice as tired as I was yesterday. Funny, that. Let’s see if the trend continues.

Still mulling over the events of the past few weeks. Got in late, not really up to writing anything. Got a bit to say on intensity, though, when I get around to it. Hope everyone is sleeping more than I have been.

Another day of “living M/s instead of writing it”. I was amazed to find this morning how functional I was given the sleep I’ve had the past few days. It seems to have caught up with me. I will take comfort in knowing that I have written quite a lot of meaningful D/s in other formats.

Given that I’ve written and deleted at least 5 paragraphs here and just forgot how to spell “sideways”, that’s all you’re bound to get.

The world gets very heavy sometimes. I put it down for a bit last night, and thought I got away with it. Not quite, though. There’s always a cost, and I’m used to paying it myself. In this, though, the cost can’t always be mine. It has to be borne by my little ones sometimes, and that can be crazy making. Especially it’s little ones that Aren’t Mine to take care of. Bah and boo hoo.

Today has been a lot of trying to put things to rights, with a few additional mishaps along the way. Having another girl is more work, but it’s hard to tell exactly how much because everything else is very crazy right now. After tomorrow things should calm down, though. Here’s hopin’.

I’d like to have something more meaningful to say, but mostly I’m saying it to specific people at this very moment. Guess this will have to do for tonight.

Tonight is not going well, I believe I will cut my losses and skip trying to post. It is my sincere hope that everyone out there is having a better day than I am.

It would be irony if I was too busy writing about running a household to actually do it. I suppose it is better to be too busy running it to write. All I have to say on the topic is that I’m incredibly grateful to Google for their various apps, they make all of this so much easier for my detail-addled brain.

If I could get work to settle down (or, preferably, go away completely but continue to pay me) I would have a lot more to say about how I’m integrating violet. For now, though, I’ll just say that things are proceeding well on all fronts, and everyone seems to be happy. I’m very pleased and very, very tired.

I was just favorably compared to Eliza Dushku. I suspect this night won’t get any better than that.

Another long post left incomplete in favor of sleep, which I still somehow manage not to get. I should have time on my hands later this week, though. I hope.

[eta: Wrapped this one. Score one for the home team.]

Going to bed early tonight. Life has my brain all fired up with good thoughts, I’m sure it will pay off in the end.

Not feeling particularly well this evening. Too much celebrating of pais’ new job, I suspect. Still, dulce de leche caramel cheesecake? Worth it.

The Epic Posts are on hold still. I’ll get to them when I feel like it. I’ve also got some site upgrades to do soon, which will probably mean a no-post day or perhaps taking a few minutes out when working from home. Wordpress rox sox, so it should be quick. This is the kind of post you get when the Mac dies and I end up writing on the Windows box. Feel the passion. Yeesh.

I find myself deleting more of what I’m writing now. Maybe I have less good stuff to say, or the dawning awareness that a few people actually read this has got me second guessing myself. I’m not really sure, but I know I’ll work through it in time.

I had written a bit about the appeal of dating sites and their superficial resemblance to slave auctions… and why I keep going back. Partially it’s because of the awesome people I do meet there sometimes (*wave*), and paritally I think it has to do with the idea that if I just do the right search in the right place at the right time I’ll have that triad I’ve wanted for so long, without having to worry about all of the real life complications. Hmmm. Sounds silly when you put it that way. :-p

I know the work needs to be done, and I even know what a fair amount of that work is. Hell, I’m doing some of it with my folks now, but sometimes it’s nice to get that glimpse of what could be… even if it never actually could be. I like storytelling, and reading a couple of paragraphs and some bio info is nothing but a big writing prompt for me. Witness:

Slaveyslaveslaveslave1990 says she’s a lesbian, but then goes on to say that she is looking for a “domme or dom”. I should send her a mail and see where that goes. I’ve certainly toyed with the idea of having a completely chaste slave. She’s into maid service and that would go a long ways toward helping out now that pais has a job, even if it was only when the kids weren’t here.

Fast forward a year or so…

Now that she’s all enslaved and stuff, it’s time to do the stereotypical male thing and make this lesbian love cock! Rar! *cue porn music*

Rewind. Delete. That was douchbagular…

She’s cute and seems really nice. I bet the kids would like her. She’s closer to their age than mine, after all… whoa. Hot. Dirty. Hot. Dirty! *cue porn music*

You get the idea. It’s foolishness, and yet every now and again I get suckered back in. On the upside I usually come out of it with keen new friends and/or more as well as a better idea of what I want in a submissive, so it’s not nothin’.

At least the words are flowing again. It’d be nice if they flowed a bit earlier in the evening, though.