House Tearmainn

Here it is, a post 4 years in the making. No, make that 35 years. I have a feeling that everything I’ve seen, done, and become in my life will inform this post in some way. I admit that the idea of committing this to written form is terrifying. Not because people may think I’m wrong or foolish, but because I know that as much as anything that I have done in the past 4 years this will become a part of the identity I am building in pais.

My views and definitions of what makes a slave are constantly evolving, and I know that isn’t about to stop. However I was rightfully and dutifully called out today on dodging this question for a long time now, and so I will give it my best shot. I hope that this will be the first of many such posts so that I can go back and see how the changes evolve.

So what is a slave? We are all at least a little conversant with the traditional definition of slavery. I like Wikipedia’s take on it:

Slavery is a form of forced labor in which people are considered to be, or treated as, the property of others. Slaves can be held against their will from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to receive compensation (such as wages)

I’m a bit less thrilled with their definition of sexual slavery:

Sexual slavery is the organized coercion of unwilling people into different sexual practices. Sexual slavery may include single-owner sexual slavery, ritual slavery sometimes associated with traditional religious practices, slavery for primarily non-sexual purposes where sex is common, or forced prostitution.

I don’t believe that it need be organized to be sexual slavery, but I digress. The key component of traditional slavery is that it involves the coercion of unwilling people. These slaves at no time consented to this.

Naturally when pais asks me what a slave is she is not referring to traditional/historical slavery. I believe that what she’s really asking is some combination of “What do you expect from me?”, “How do you perceive the my role in our relationship?”, and “As Your slave, what should my identity be?”. I suppose to answer that I must first decide in what ways she is a slave.

I did not purchase, inherit, or in any legal way come into possession of her. She chose to become mine after getting to know me and deciding that granting authority to me was a safe and reasonable thing to do. So, easily enough we have eliminated the possibility that she is a traditional/historical slave. In all other ways, however, she does meet that definition.

So, we have narrowed down the scope of the question to consensual slavery. It seems to me that the definition of consensual slavery must match that of traditional slavery- she can be forced to work, coerced when necessary, and could potentially be held against her will. All of these things she agreed to, and some she had to be absolutely assured of before she would consent to be collared. Still, those are only things that can happen to a slave. What of the slaves themselves? The definition rightly leaves out any concept of what a “good” slave is, as such a value judgment is solely the province of their owner.

Hm. I’m wandering again, which undoubtedly means I’m still avoiding the question. Luckily we’re almost to the meat of the issue. What do I think of when I imagine a “good” consensual slave, and how does that play in to what pais means when she asks what a slave is?

For me a consensual slave is an objectified servant. The extent of objectification can vary widely, but I think the objectification is the essential difference between slave and servant. I also think that the concept of this objectification is what causes people, at a gut level, to reject the terms “master” and “slave” as descriptive of their relationships. I’ve recently struggled with this myself as pais is more than a consensual slave to me, I am in love with her. As such I identify her as a pet as well as a slave and have recently taken to calling her a “pup slave”. This has been invaluable to me in keeping the roles clear and maintaining that level of objectification.

I suppose the next logical question is what is the different between a “pup slave” and a “consensual slave”? Well, for me a pup slave is a consensual slave. Just one whose identity is a pet instead of inanimate chattel (by most definitions pets are chattel, so I suppose this is really a sub-set). Pets tend to get more affection, tenderness, and love than household or personal objects, and that is just how I like it. As to how this ties into what pais is really asking, I suppose it breaks down like this:

“What do you expect from me?”

I expect service, loyalty, obedience, affection, flexibility, and the kind of worship a pup gives their owner.

“How do you perceive the my role in our relationship?”
“As Your slave, what should my identity be?”

I see you as a treasured, beloved, useful working animal. Often times I still see a lot more than that, but I think that is the ideal, primary role. Of course I need more than that right now, and your ability to fulfill all of the roles I need is not only critical to us being able to live together right now, but also a very necessary part of our path toward a deeper M/s dynamic.

Of course this has all gotten very specific to my relationship with pais. I feel another post brewing about how I feel about non-pais slaves. A long time from now I may even feel qualified to speak to slavery in general, who knows?